Immigrants on the Move

The second country we moved to was France, our first permanent post overseas and probably the most naïve and unprepared I’ve ever stumbled into a country. Prior to this we had completed a short term contract in the Maldives, an island where your staff food is cooked for you, your transport is arranged, and all you have to do is arrive with the right items in your suitcase.

Due to some family drama around the time my husband got work in France, I was living in Ireland, temporarily renting a little bungalow and taking my nephew to and from the boarding school he’d managed to get himself expelled from (albeit it was not entirely his fault). I was playing a role I hadn’t played before that point, the one of responsible adult. I was filling the fridge, cooking nutritious meals and ensuring that homework was completed on time. Up until meeting my husband, my flatmate used to introduce me as the girl who didn’t eat. This was not true, I just worked 80 hour weeks, had a staff canteen and a Tesco supermarket next door to my work for snacks and couldn’t be bothered to cook when I got home. My go to dish on the nights I did eat would be pasta and tomato sauce. I was in my twenties, so I worked hard and partied hard. Money spent on food shopping was absolutely a total waste of drinking money (yes I’m cringing as I write that, but that was my mindset at that age).

I would love to blame the chaos of moving to Ireland with my nephew on why I didn’t do any preparation or research before moving to France, but if I’m honest I think I was just too naïve to even think about it. We arrived and we investigated, we spent longer than is ever necessary in supermarkets, we walked around towns, we trolled the internet for accommodation. What we didn’t do is any of these things efficiently or cohesively.

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Seneca the Younger

Fast forward to our move to Spain and I was more prepared. I researched the area, we did a reccie (something we didn’t do in France) to make sure we could be comfortable in that region, I found Facebook groups for the local area, read up on local attractions and got myself prepared. Even the way we investigated the local supermarkets was different, we didn’t wander around mouths agape fascinated by the weird stuff on the shelves. Instead we checked the prices of meat, vegetables, staple items to work out our cost of living. We looked at the price of electronics, and household goods should we need them. We arrived understanding how to make it easier on ourselves.

This isn’t to say we learned all the lessons. In France I spent months on my own, with no idea how to connect with anyone in this new place. As an introvert making friends is always challenging, but in a country where I don’t yet have the language it seemed impossible. In Spain I still managed to spend months without any real contact with the outside world, but whereas in France I hid away in my house, in Spain I found a local gym with classes and pushed myself to go there every week. Little by little I connected and made friends with people.

On the next move to Baku, I felt I had a handle on this moving countries thing. I researched, I found places we could go and things we could see, I joined groups aimed at connecting women living in foreign countries (look up Girl Gone International, most major cities have a group) and I didn’t just join the group and watch from the sidelines, I put a post out there saying I’m here, I’m overwhelmed and I’d love to meet new people. This is not to say the first, second or third round of people you meet will be your people, but they might be the ones who introduce you to those that make your overseas experience a positive adventure (see my post Childless and Abroad for more information on the tiers of people you meet).

As I prepare for my next location, which will be a short term contract, I’m back to the act of research. Getting to know a place from afar before I’ve taken the time to step onto its soil and really feel the culture and atmosphere. The truth is you can do all the research in the world, but until you start living there and spend a few months getting to know a place there will always be surprises. But hopefully with some new connections they can be easy to navigate and a lot of fun along the way.